Beer we go again!!!

Don’t we love Friday evenings? I do. It marks the beginning of two carefree days in the week. No bosses, no clients nor gloomy faced colleagues to put up with for a complete 48 hours. The advent of such a beautiful time needs to be celebrated; isn’t it? I celebrate and I do that with full gusto. Every Friday evening I find my way to the cheap, local bar near my house where the focus remains on the right thing- ALCOHOL.

It was at this session last week that I pondered for a while and refused to consume my favourite beverage - Beer. As soon as I ordered for some Indian wine, I heard someone yelling at the top of his voice, ‘Hey, don’t treat me like that man?’

My reasons for refusing to have beer that evening were many.

I was no longer a college kid blessed with stupendous metabolism to digest every drop of the golden liquid. I was developing what is infamously known as the ‘Beer Belly’. It somehow just does not go well with my otherwise chiseled features and greek-god like looks.

I had recently read that beer contains powerful stimulants which may cause heartburn. And that was not all; it seems high beer intake also increases blood pressure. So, it was the most obvious thing for me to do, to switch to some other form of alcohol. I chose wine, to be honest, because I thought it is fashionable and I aspired to pass myself off as a connoisseur of everything French like my boss and clients. Even I wanted to know my Bordeauxs from my burgundies.

But this loud voice caught my attention. ‘Who was it?’ I looked around but couldn’t catch anyone in the bar screaming nor did anyone seem perturbed by the high pitch of it.

‘How can you treat me like this after doing so many things together for all these years?’ The voice definitely seemed distressed. But I could not locate the origin of these words.

‘Look here at the bar, you fool.’

I did and all I could see was bottles of many liquor brands and a bottle of ‘Kingfisher Mild Beer’, my favourite for its lovely taste and great price.

‘Yes Sach, it’s me- Beer’.

I was shell-shocked.

Beer was talking to me??? Had the copious amounts of alcohol I had been consuming finally damaged my brain???

But the voice nevertheless continued and I listened in rapt attention.

‘It’s convenient, isn’t it? To forget old friends who have stood by you through good times and the bad. Have you forgotten the day you and your best friend bunked college to enter the bar near VT station to order your first beer? I still remember your innocent face, having a swig off of me not sure how to react to this newfound pleasure. Both you boys stayed there for three hours talking about everything you possibly could.

We’ve been friends ever since.

Our friendship continued in Bangalore where you went to college. You along with your group of five friends visited the many pubs in the city. I don’t know why you kids enjoyed the loud music they used to play there.

Do you recollect that all you friends put together barely used to have enough money to pay for a pitcher of beer?

And you guys used to add cheap rum to the pitcher while the waiter was away to make the pitcher run for a longer time.

But I never complained, even when you mixed the lowly rum with me.

Also, it was in these years that you went out on dates. Remember?

I clearly recollect the cute girl you used to go out with pretty often. And I knew that you were just not able to gather the guts to flirt with her or to convey your feelings. It was only when you ordered for a pint that I entered your body, went to your brain and opened you up. Boy did you speak after that! Both of you started seeing each other soon afterwards and were together till you graduated from college.

SO, wouldn’t you give me credit for your first ‘real’ relationship?

And it’s not only the good times that we shared. I saw you when you were off to New Delhi for your first job. It wasn’t as good as you had expected it to be. You were lonely and longed to get back to Mumbai. You and I drowned your sorrows and hoped for better times at the balcony of you flat in New Delhi.

Times have changed since then. You are now doing well. But don’t forget, it was me who gave you your best friends, your first girl friend, great memories and support during lonely times. And this is how you treat me? You ignore me for a fancy red thing called wine who has no love for you whatsoever? Only because now you feel having that thing is cool and it will make you look smart.

Is that how you repay your old friends???

Anyway, I will let you decide whether you need an old friend or a fancy new poser. It was great being part of your life though and I will always remember you fondly. Bye.’

The voice went out and it was complete silence. It seemed the bar full of people had gone completely quiet.

I thought hard. It was true; my old friend beer was the reason for countless beautiful memories which I will cherish for the rest of my life. I had grown from being a boy to a man with my friend’s help. I enjoyed long, intellectual conversations with other friends in his company. Yes, I took his help whenever I was tongue-tied around an attractive girl.

How could I think of deserting him?

I screamed, ‘WAITER!’

‘Cancel my order for wine and get me a bottle of chilled Kingfisher Mild Beer. ‘

‘On second thoughts, make that two.’