Keep Falling...

The scene remains etched in my memory like a beautiful dream that I never want to forget… A tuxedo-ed young man drenched in the rain enters a restaurant where his muse is having dinner… with her fiance…

He walks up to her and asks, ‘Would you like to dance?’... she gazes at him... and obliges. Oblivious to the social norms being broken with every swirl, to the extent of seeming insane, the young lovers waltz in total silence. The dance climaxes into moments of intense passion.

No, this is not a scene out of Sachin Bhandary’s life - as much as I wish it were - but something I witnessed as a teenager in a Colaba talkies. Based on a Charles Dickens novel, ‘Great Expectations’, the movie that saw Gwyneth Palthrow torment Ethan Hawke. To this date it reminds me, that there is no feeling as intense, as intoxicating, as that of being madly in love.

To love or not to love, well, is not even the question…..for love itself is the answer…

Who am I to talk about love, you may ask? I am every one. Like most of you, I’ve been in love. Like a few of you, I’ve been in love not once but many times over.

And I’ve been lucky, to have been loved, by some of the most amazing women known to me. But then, I’ve also been a tragedy, losing all of them either to other men or to my own stupidity. There were a few whom I loved for fleeting moments, at a certain place, at a certain time; one who danced like a dream in a far away land.

And, today, I want to remind each one of you that it is important to keep falling

Keep Falling - for Love is a real dream:

Imagine the way you feel when you fall in love! Everything around you seems so beautiful, so dream-like: as if you are floating on a light cloud. That one phone call makes your day. Your otherwise dull, drab workplace starts seeming like a paradise when you bump into the special someone at the coffee machine.

Someone rightly said ‘You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep. For reality is finally better than your dreams’.

Don’t you think it’s worth falling in love for this one reason? To turn this life into a beautiful reality???

Keep falling for love is the best energizer:

Every time I fell in love, I stepped out a better, stronger person. My relationships enriched my life in many ways- one taught me to travel, another to embrace the world without cynicism; few others made me realize that I am an attractive person. However my mother feels otherwise , and she thinks that these pretty girls were actually sympathising with me.

Friends you would have heard that behind every successful man there is a woman, but I feel behind every successful person there is a partner. Dont you agree?

True, mutual love energises partners to become better in many different ways- emotionally, socially, financially, physically and spiritually as well. So, get together with your partner, dream together and bring them to lovely reality. Together.

Keep falling for love makes this life worthwhile:

Imagine this life without love? There would be no soul stirring poetry or sublime rock ballads or even tear-jerker movies which we all love to watch.

Without love, life would be tasteless, materialistic and even trivial. For deep inside, all of us want to grow old with someone and that’s why our hearts sigh with emotion when we spot a graceful elderly couple holding hands in a park.

The naysayers will say there is a corollary to this; that love hurts sometimes, that it leaves a wound that cannot be healed.

But what is a life lead without its fair share of sweet melancholy? Love in all its forms is but what the heart yearns for. Love is the reason why it wants to beat.

The beauty & benefits of love far outweigh the occasional heart break and if looked at in the right way, even these rejections propel us to grow, to enrich our lives.

So, all you lovely people why don’t you go back and give a sweet surprise to your loved one? Today and every day of your life…

And for the ones like me, who have been a victim of serial monogamy … let’s just wait in positive anticipation… And when life offers the chance, don’t worry about whether there is music playing.
Walk up to that woman and ask her…

‘Would you like to dance in this ballroom…..called life?’

The Key to Unravel

19^th January 2010, I was at the Mumbai airport….off to South America- diverse, friendly, culturally-rich and the continent filled with super-hot women… no, that wasn’t the only reason to go there. But in many ways, it was to be an epic trip, backpacking 45 days through Brazil, Argentina and Bolivia.

The guy at the check-in counter grounded my flight of naughty thoughts….’Sir, you will change flights in Paris for Rio. But your passport does not have a French transit visa. Sorry sir, you will not be able to board the flight’

‘YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BOARD THE FLIGHT!!!’: The ground beneath my feet disappeared. Suddenly the dream felt like a nasty nightmare. There was certainly a mistake- the travel agent had told me I don’t need a visa in Paris since I was to stay within the airport. But, by then it was too late, friends, I could not take the flight that night…

But, I was back within twenty four hours to take the next flight to Paris. Loaded not just with a transit visa but a 90 day Schengen visa. This feat the night before, sympathetically, was considered impossible by the airline staff- they expected to see me after a week.

Friends, there is so much to learn from travel……

So much you know, like:

·         Travel agents know nothing about transit visas OR

·         Booking a Kingfisher flight is not the only way to be sure you won’t reach your destination 

·         Airline staff serves bad news with such panache that you doubt they are actually happy about your hapless situation 

But to travel is to surrender to the uncertainty of life…

And the world is worth surrendering to; isn’t it? From the beaches of Rio to the streets of Paris; from the crowded Kumbh mela to the lonely desert of Patagonia; from watching elephants in Africa to the great wall of China and of course this auditorium in National college. This world is an intriguing place. 

And today let me share three reasons why every man or woman; young or old, ugly or handsome should travel:

1.       Travel,  it just might change your life:

Many heroes of our world found a vision for life during their travels…

One such was Mahatma Gandhi who found his crusade while traveling on that train in South Africa and thank god for that, today, we live in a free country.

Have you found your purpose in life? If not- travel! Because traveling out also means traveling within…

Even Mohammed said- ‘Don’t tell me how educated you are; tell me how much you have traveled’

2.       Travel,  because it is the best teacher you will ever find:

In those twenty four hours after I was denied the flight, travel taught me a wonderful lesson: that if you truly, passionately want something- YOU WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN! Like king khan says: ‘that if you really love something; the universe will conspire in your favour …’.  The universe in those 24 hours conspired to get me the visa and a seat on the next flight, which was overbooked by 7 people. Since, my friends, nine people that night decided not turn up for the flight …

Yes, travel is the best teacher you can ever find. It teaches you to live, it teaches you to give; it scares you; yet teaches you not to be scared, it puts you out of breath. It makes you do things that you would otherwise never do. It teaches you to trust; it teaches you to grow, to be mature…

It has made me learn, that my small house that I share with my beautiful mother- is the only thing for which I need to yearn.

3.       Travel, it will keep you humble:

If humility is a virtue, then travel is a harbinger of it. When you travel you are not a CEO, not an achiever, not rich either- you are just YOU- just another traveler. But that is the beauty of this world, you don’t need to be CEO to be loved nor will your money buy you friends.

You will realize that less is more, a backpack and a broad smile is enough to see you through.

Friends, there are numerous excuses for not being able to travel: no money, no time, too many commitments, I am married and I have toastmasters session on Sundays ….but life is counted not by the number of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away..

Joshua Fernandez captured the essence of travel beautifully, he writes…

I travel with my voice, I travel with my hope

      That something new, would spring into my horoscope,

I travel to many different places, mix with many races

Know tribesmen by their faces and little girls by their laces

      I travel with or without money, so here’s my testimony

The good, the bad and even the ugly

Every experience is worth life’s journey

For I will always marvel, whenever, whenever……I travel

So friends, lying in my room is my backpack…it has my dreams, my hopes, my worries, my fears….memories that I have collected over years. And pictures of some of hot my ex girlfriends too!

I am ready to get high on this journey called life!

When are you packing your bags? It is about time you travel to unravel the mysteries of life.

And yes, one more thing, I did travel to South America for the hot women!

Frivolution

Attention caught, by the casual post on the wall


Sparks an anger deeper than while on baby’s call



I like, I like- I yell with a furious click

Corruption, scams, indifference; I say, make me wrongly tick



Spread the word, I decide, Mr Whoever’s hunger can’t be wasted

Ppts at work, one after the other, but supported him during breaks while it lasted



Lit candles, expressed solidarity, missed some friends, never mind; made some new

Got some beers , cheered him, men like him are but a few



Life went on, I swelled with pride, finally I had shown participation

With my air conditioned (f)revolution



But it got over soon, now I m back to yelling I like, I like

Albeit to the 1000cc italian bike



Ye , the (f)revolution , i felt like a soldier

I am courageous, my battleground- twitter

Run Baby. Run.

It’s a perfect Sunday morning at Shivaji Park. A dog gives out a lazy yawn while a pigeon adjust its eyes to the just risen sun’s rays. Children in faintly red looking white uniforms daydream while one of them yields a bat, ready to slog the next ball outside the park. And I am telling myself ‘this is it Sachin, this is it. You can’t do this no more. You will die. Really you will.’


Just when I am about to give up, an elderly gentleman who seems 60, sporting a SPMC t shirt, races past me. SPMC- ladies n gentlemen is Shivaji Park Marathon Club. The music playing in my ears suddenly starts beating harder and I yell to myself …..albeit in the mind ‘Run Baby Run’. Run harder, faster, longer…

Good morning Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and welcome guests. It shouldn’t be difficult to guess that my speech today is about running.

Now quickly, I want a show of hands from people who run regularly. Not from work or responsibilities but the ones who actually jog…

Now the ones who don’t…

Of these I want to know people who they will jog in the near future… or ever in their life.

Thank you for your cooperation!

Body:

But the question is, why should I be talking about running? Am I a marathoner? An athlete? No. None of these.

But yes, I am running away from negativity, from depression, from rejection towards my dreams, my goals and towards life. I have always been in awe of people who run long distance; ……. forget long distance I have great respect for people who manage to run a couple of kilometers every day because I never imagined myself being able to do it. I thought that this or any other exercise was not made for me. But little less than a month ago, things changed…

A relationship which had taken me many years to build had come crashing down. Something that I envisaged to be a permanent fact of my life had disappeared in minutes leaving me wondering what next?

It was then that a close friend & mentor of mine told me to put down my goals and monitor them on a daily basis. She also suggested that I include strenuous exercise in my daily regimen. All this, to be able to use my energies positively rather than brooding over the lost love.

The easiest and the best exercise I thought was running. Better still was the fact that I owned a decent pair of running shoes, a music player and Shivaji park, the mecca of cricket and fitness enthusiasts, was barely 100 steps away from where I lived. So, for the past twenty days I have been running every morning for 30 minutes and I gradually intend to increase the distance. But there is one thing I already know and that is that for now and forever I am a follower of this religion known as running.

Whats so great about running anyway? Some may ask. Why dedicate a Sunday morning synonymous with lazy brunches to an activity so irritating, tiring and boring?

Running is anything but that- in fact its rejuvenating, uplifting and entertaining… and may be even spiritual

I will tell you why…

So lets do the boring part first: lets look at the physical and health benefits of running:

This physical activity is the most famous way to lose weight and to stay fit. Why? Because running is a rigorous cardiovascular exercise which makes you lose about 100 calories per mile while with other activities such as biking or walking the calories lost are just a fraction of these.

Jogging has numerous health benefits apart from maintaining weight such as:

• It helps maintain low blood pressure

• Lungs become more strong and powerful and with long periods of running can offset the effects of smoking on lungs

• It strengthens heart hence preventing heart attacks

The reason why I call listing the health benefits boring is because to say that the health benefits are the most important is trivializing this gift we all have access to. This relatively simple activity gets many people addicted not because it keeps extra inches away but because it gives them a high which can replace the euphoria provided by other damaging substances such as alcohol and drugs. And for us toastmasters, having a good run gives a similar high as delivering a great speech. Imagine experiencing that high day after day!

The physiological benefits of running far outweigh the physical demands. Running is also used as one of the cures for psychological disorders since it calms nerves. It gives you something to focus on except your problems and for the ones who do not have problems but goals, it just lets you focus.

Rob Simerick, a marathoner and former drunk, was able to replace the high of daily binge drinking with the euphoria of his daily runs. The completion of his first marathon after 11 years of absistence was a profound moment for him. Imagine that! From being a drunk to a marathoner, the journey taken on the back of a simple activity. An activity which comes as naturally to human beings as breathing. This is just one from the many stories of triumph that running has been a part of.

So, if you think you don’t need to run, think again!

To run- you don’t need to be fat, nor depressed, nor happy, nor sad. Run for any reason that suits you and in the process you will realise the amazing benefits of this oldest form of exercise known to man.

What running is, is a metaphor for the human spirit, it is our story of grit, guts and will power. You don’t have to be rich or poor to run- all you need is the will and running shoes and trust me you can find cheap ones at Bata!

it’s also a great way to know people around you and to get inspired. If you think you are fit, just run and you will see others who run like jaguars. If you think you are active for your age, then run to see people your parents’ age who will make you break a sweat much before they do.

Let me conclude by reciting two great quotes:

Walter Bagehot once said ‘The greatest pleasure in life, is doing the things people say we cannot do’ and I add to that saying: ‘trust me running will help you do things even you thought you couldn’t’.

And the one that completely kills it for me is what Clarence DeMar yelled ‘Run like hell and get the agony over with’.

So, here’s my challenge to each one of you, at least for the next one week: pick up running shoes on your way back home and ‘run baby run’.

The irresistible bitch, Mumbai: Her most tempting asset- Shivaji Park

By the time you reach this line (if anyone ever does), your might already have a few images in your mind with this desperate attempt at an attention seeking headline. Shivaji Park conjures up visuals of white uniforms sporting cricket aspirants practicing and dreaming of going on to become the next Sachin Tendulkar. Their clothes not exactly white but a few soiled shades away. To some the name might bring images of crowded rallies listening anxiously to Balasaheb Thakrey or his rebel nephew Raj. There might a few(very) who would think of the Samyukta Maharashtra movement which ensured that Mumbai became a part of Maharashtra , a state formed in the 1960s. But before you decide to close this blog window thinking it will be too boring with another such topic, hold on!

I can’t promise that this would be the most interesting piece you have ever read but yes at least one thing is for sure, this piece will look at the no-so-serious side of Shivaji Park- no political rallies or stories of grit and determination of Mumbai cricketers. This piece is purely self indulgent on the writer’s part who will look at the park through the lens… of his eyes. Eyes which a few months ago were not used to tree lined walkways, a promenade, a huge park or a ground within 100 footsteps from where they lived. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what a boy who grew up in Airoii, an unknown node of Navi Mumbai thinks of this middle class dream known as Shivaji Park or SP( to make it and yourself sound cooler!).

Shivaji Park and the adjoining area is a wonderful discovery each day with its many layers, many people and many activities most of which are centred on the park. For most people living close by and to some who do not, the park is an important part of their daily lives. It means different things to every group of people. The localities close to the park are equally interesting which offer insights into living in our endearing and hated city. But the park is a study of contrasts, of different worlds all within the same time and space. So, you could be visiting the park early in the morning to see many fitness enthusiasts jogging around its periphery with their ipods and fresh looking sporting gear. But the park centres around(literally) cricket with its enthusiasts getting a daily morning dose of the game. Still the mornings are not necessarily about sports and fitness for everyone. Walk, take a closer look and you are bound to find the nana-nani park on the eastern side where the not-so-young catch up on daily news immersed in their saamna, sakal, loksatta or the odd Maharashtra times. Not that everyone there too is quietly reading, there are many who just prefer to have a loud chat accompanied by tea served in plastic cups. So at any given time the park is home to different types of people engaged in different interests, one might be more visible than the other but all of them as intense.

People definitely add excitement to the park and make it a wonderful place to just watch the world go by, but it is the trees which are permanent residents and add to the quiet charm of the area if you ever wanted to pay attention to the sllence. I have realised that one of the best ways to spend a rare, free Sunday afternoon is to walk around the park and just fill your sight with the green and beauty of the trees at SP. Strong, dependable, shade providing they make the park what it is- a paradise for many a tired mumbaikars. Also, like many other spaces in Mumbai- the ‘katta’ or the boundary of Shivaji Park showcases its utility beyond being a place to sit. Visit the park any afternoon and it is difficult to find a vacant foot to sit on the western side of the katta since it is lined up with people getting their siesta, the benches too on this side of the park are put to the same use. But this is a sight visible only during the day since loitering around the park in the night is prohibited by the police. Past midnight - it is difficult to find a soul at the park - that can only be a result of policing in a city which otherwise loves to both stay awake and out until wee hours of the morning.

Another way in which the park serves its visitors is by allowing the young, romantic ones to spend some quiet time together. Some of them reach as early as 7am!!! Obviously, they are bunking college or tuitions to spend those beautiful moments cuddling next to each other on the park benches. Me too, I have spent a couple of very nice evenings- holding hands, exchanging looks and sitting close at this park. With whom, I not quite ready to tell.

But it is the evenings truly when the park gives up its sports character and turns itself into a hub of recreation, friendship, gossip, laughter and just the plan old ‘catch up’. The twin coffee shops Barista and Coffee Day overlooking the park provide the perfect spots for a first date or the ‘conversation over coffee’ ritual. Personally, I am not a huge fan of these western concepts of socializing especially when there is a bhelwala and a lovely katta just a few footsteps away. It seems that I am not a minority since hordes of teenagers, equal number of aunties and a few uncles make the evenings at SP colourful and put the katta to good use. The evening hotspot is the frankiewalla just off the eastern entrance of the park. Though an import, I dont quite mind the Frankie with its ‘as Indian as it gets’ filling. The day at Shivaji Park ceases to end without activity- even late into the evenings it is a common sight to find some joggers who probably aren’t able to make time for fitness in the morning; many boys from nearby neighbourhoods spend hours talking what they should talk about – women, women and about some more women.

To me Shivaji Park is a microcosm to India itself- free, diverse, lively, chaotic and cricket loving. But the most amazing quality of the park is its democratic nature. You don’t have to have ‘arrived’ in life to be able to take a walk here. You might say that’s true of most parks around the world and would say emphatically say ‘no, that’s not true!’. Most public spaces placed in middle or upper middle class localities find ways of shunning out the poor from experiencing their pleasures. If not that, then most make it intimidating for the not so rich to be there since everyone else using the park seems to be so rich with their shiny clothes and fancy cars. The park also does not stop at being a young man or woman’s park or a college goers’ hangout. The park belongs to senior citizens as much as it does to the youngsters of the city; it is as much a place for slackers as it is for the fitness freaks. This urban space somehow allows for a harmonious blend of people, no matter what demographic definition they belong to. It might be true that the park gets this nature due to the legacy of it being an epicentre of grass root movements and probably it is the not-so-rich who have accepted the shiny people here than the other way round.

But nevertheless, Shivaji Park’s democracy calls for a celebration over cheap whisky in one of the mumbaiya bars close by! Wat say?

Heritage: One disappoints, the other delights

Aunties from Paharganj

Rajdhani evening snacks

So it’s a Friday afternoon and being the busiest PR person on the planet, I was quite proud of myself to have managed to leave office three and a half hours before the official time( work continues post that for a few more hours). I had had one nightmare too many that I would miss to take the Rajdhani express to delhi for the weekend to meet friends and to travel to a neemrana hotel called Fort Hill Kesroli. More on the fort later.

Yes, so there I was, walking towards Dadar station, wearing my company branded backpack which would make school kids in Dhaka proud of the quality stuff manufactured by their malnourished workers. I had a bag nevertheless on my shoulders and sometimes that equals the melodramatic roof overs one head type’a phrase. Reaching Mumbai central fairly quickly I had more than 30 mins to settle into what is the premier train service on Indian tracks- the Rajdhani express. With the first blast of conditioned air on my sweat-lined face, I was transported eight years back in time when I had taken the same train with a college mate with whom I was about to become colleagues too. I clearly remember the excitement then-‘ we are on the rajdhani man!’ either one of us had exclaimed. Then came in the king like treatment by the coach attendant- warm towels, white linen, blankets- all to ensure that I was ready for the Delhi grind after a good night’s sleep. Oh and that was just the beginning, one after the other we were served food (which I thought then) was fit for a special occasion. It started with soup, then the main course and ice cream for dessert. Then night fell and the moment I opened my eyes we were nearing delhi and there was a delicious omlette waiting to content my stomach. And that was that, we were in Delhi, in flat sixteen hours. I could not believe it. The trip on this train was more exciting than having reached Delhi where I was to spend at least one year.



Cut back to 2011, Sachin- now a regular in the Indian skies, albeit on the domestic routes, mostly. He has settled down into Rajdhani which will take him to Delhi. He took the train since he thought it was too much to spend five thousand rupees on a one way flight when he needed to reach Delhi only next morning.



And as I settle down, the staff attendant hurries everyone through their ‘ veg or non-veg?’ dinner order. Its vegetarian for me, I tend to not like chicken dishes even in decent restaurants, so the non-chicken meal seems safer for me on a train. But the attendant does not seem as nice as I had expected him to be. Andheri marks the arrival of evening snacks-which for most bit is a disappointment. The cheese sandwich is dry like a desert stone, the savoury n sweet samosa is okay and the juice is the good old Jumpin which none of us would drink even if they were actually available in neighbourhood shops. So, that was the about the snacks. The most useful on the snacks tray was the paper soap.

After this, It was nice to be able to talk to co passengers. Three elderly people and two young executives were my neighbours on this trip. Akthough, the elderly and the young were not known to each other, they all seemed like one big Delhi family where I was the odd bambaiya. But as the unstoppable Rajdhani zipped past station after station, conversations got easier and they finally started to accept me. And in no time, it was dinner time… soup had arrived. The cream of tomato soup could pass off as a poor rendition of the rasam in a cheap udupi near mulund station.



Thankfully, there was a break before the main meal was served. Wrapped in silver foils with dal dripping on the tray, it made me feel that the irritating canteen waiter at office was a an international standard in hygiene. The less I talk about the taste of the food, the better it is-for me. They obviously think that paneer is versatile enough to b consumed raw in a makhni gravy. The rice and the dal though made the meal edible. Dessert was the token vanilla ice cream in a cup.



But the dilliwalas ensured that it wasn’t only a cribtrip for me. One of the boys placed his laptop on the side table and played a recent rom-com flick named ‘Dil to bachcha hai ji’. It isn’t one of the greatest films ever made, but hey what the heck? I hit the middle birth at midnight and woke up in the morning again to a waiting omlette but this one was just not eligible to enter anyone’s stomach. By the time I made up my mind that I would not eat it, New Delhi station had arrived. And off I was to find the next metro to Gurgaon.



So, this was my story of Rajdhani redux, a train which in my opinion has regressed than doing the opposite. While many in India have moved on and expect better service, shorter durations, the railway seems to be happy in providing the service which in many parts of the world would take only single digit hours. The complimentary meals are still considered important by them and may be they are right since the passenger spends most of his time eating in the Rajdhani. But better food, better presentation would help if the train wants to maintain the legacy of college kids aspiring to travel on this train. If good food and service are expensive for the prices at which tickets are sold at then maybe it is time to get travelers to pay for food or at least increase the prices of the ticket. But yes, that should happen if the railway manages to reduce the travel time in each of the 16 rajdhanis.

But here’s the counterpoint, maybe I am being too critical. May be it is still an aspirational train for countless Indians. May be my staid airline travel has killed the boy who found this or any other train charming…

Being a lover of trains since childhood, all I feel, is that the railways should evolve. And for nothing els but for the sake of evolution itself!

Ode to an evaporated dream…

Tender moments, stronger promises

casual wink and stranger whispers

throatful laughter with the unbearable silences

Dreamt together, dreamt apart

If love is labour, would have worked for any cost

Clasped hands, a soft caress; for the delusionary moment

Evaporate sweet Love; like does the endearing fragrance

All is lost but to what cause?

I am still here, so are you

Passionate moments, there were a few

But love is not passion. Or may be it is.